A Cloud of Dreams | The Design Story

April 24th, 2023

One afternoon in June 2019, I found myself walking home from one of the hardest but most important decisions of my life. Numb and in complete disbelief, I called each of my family members and informed them of the news.. I broke up with my longtime boyfriend. The one we all loved and adored the past 3.5 years, and the one I supposedly was moving in with in 2 weeks.... oops.

The mile walk between his Lincoln Park apartment and my Old Town walk-up was filled in disbelief. Each person I called questioned what I had done. Who could believe I would do something as impulsive and irrational as this? I can.

This was my breaking point. I ignored my gut for years not understanding the sleepless nights in anxiety and sadness, not feeling 'right' or that I was enough. Every look inside me was screaming to walk away from the kindest person, my best friend, and all I could think was 'What the hell is wrong with me?! Don't you want to marry your best friend?!' He wouldn't listen to me when I insisted something was missing, so I didn't listen to me either.

Luckily, signing a lease finally urged me to acknowledge that 'irrational' voice deep down and trust my gut... but truthfully, I don't know if I would've had the courage without the interventions of my most trusted advisors and a sign from God himself (or just a very timely butterfly landing on my shoulder, but I like to say it was a sign from God).

It took a couple days of staring at my ceiling and probably 20 miles of shuffling my feet around the city before I was done feeling sorry for myself and ready to face reality, and that reality was my homelessness in about a week. Since actually working was completely out of the question, I spent my day back in the office avoiding my coworkers' eye contact and combed the internet for a viable and very last minute 1 bedroom. I'll never forget the hilariously iconic moment when my manager firmly declared 'NO ONE WOULD DARE' look at me that day. We will all forever reflect on that moment and laugh, because Marta is such a mother bear as it is, but what we didn't know was she was in her first trimester and feeling especially protective those days.

A couple hours in my solace and searching for resolution, I came across the perfect last-minute listing only a couple blocks from my Old Town walk-up. The view on my screen caught Marta's eye, as it coincidentally was the exact same as hers many years before, and she practically shoved me from my seat. She urged me to secure this miracle, and I essentially sprinted all the way to Gold Coast to meet my new landlord and scoop what would soon to be 'A Cloud of Dreams'.

The moment I walked in, I knew it was mine. Filling me with hope and upliftment, I immediately felt assured everything was going to be alright. Maybe it was the wall-to-wall windows overlooking the park and lake, or maybe I was finally learning to listen to my gut.

I spent the next week getting my life together, moving everything we had already purchased and stored at his place to mine and selling off what wouldn't fit, Being the planner I am, I had naturally completely furnished what would've been our apartment and joint life together. Mistakes and physical challenges aside, looking back, this was a hilarious part in my journey, having to rent a moving van, drive that moving van across the city and on 94 in the wrong gear, and transporting pieces of furniture no one should transport by themselves, including my 10 foot mirror. I even carried my prized CB2 bone inlay mirror balanced on my head for over a mile. I mean, what's life without a little grit and questionable ventures along the way anyway?

One of the first nights in my new apartment, surrounded by boxes and plans to leave for the 4th of July that next morning, I woke up to one of the most surreal sights of my life. The entire room was filled with an indescribable infrared glow. I couldn't believe my eyes. Speechless as it quickly faded, I grabbed my phone and took a picture for proof of what I experienced. I was so undoubtably certain this was another sign from God, reassuring me of the path I'd chosen. In the 2 years I spent at 88 W Schiller, I woke up almost every morning with the sun, waiting for that infrared light I experienced in my first night, even setting an alarm on that exact date for years to come, but there never was a sunrise quite like it.

Nothing was as natural and comforting as settling into my new space. This was the first of my own. The first I could make mine, and boy did I learn a lot about myself in here. A Cloud of Dreams nurtured me in the hardest times, some of the toughest points of my life so far, but at the end of the day, 2019 changed my life for the better. I found myself, my passion and drive, my pursuit of love and what's most important to me. I learned to surround myself with my people. I completed my first concept, and I qualified for the Boston Marathon. For this story and the years spent at 88 W Schiller, entering my late 20s, waking myself up and laying the groundwork for the rest of my life… I am so grateful.

That’s the story of 'A Cloud of Dreams'. A project rooted in the importance of trusting your gut, following your heart and taking that leap. My biggest thanks goes to my family for their support and having to witness my crazy snapchats re-arranging pillows in quarantine, my most trusted advisors Alex & Jackie and my manager Marta for giving me the nudge I needed. If it weren't for my friends shaking me into listening to myself or the days on facetime in quarantine dreaming up alternative careers with Alex, I don't know if I would've considered anything but insurance. And lastly, I'd like to thank my landlord Deanna for encouraging my pursuit of interior design. Without your words of encouragement, I don't know if I would've ever believed I had a chance at making it as a designer.

This is the beginning, my story goes on. I sure hope you follow along.

✥. Lauren